aka 20 Things You Don’t Wanna Know About Shawn Lavigne
1. His middle name is Hector
2. He has six toes on his left foot
3. He believes he is the reincarnation of Canadian wrestling legend John Katan
4. Back in the summer of 2003, he entered the Nathan’s hog dog eating contest at Coney Island…and threw up after consuming only three hot dogs
5. Was a hand model in Dove TV commercials in Eastern Ontario during the late 1980’s
6. Was once arrested for public lewdness at a Black Sabbath concert at Lansdowne Park in Ottawa
7. Once ate $378.65 worth of food, all by himself, during a 12-hour stretch one Saturday at Gretzky’s Restaurant
8. Billed it all to John Melville’s personal account
9. Was asked to leave said premises a number of times for proposing marriage to every waitress in the bar
10. His real nickname? The Love God
11. Despite what he says, was a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs as recently as the spring of 1995
12. Never flosses
13. Hasn’t watched a complete hockey game since 2002 (then again, neither has Peter Berce)
14. Believes that when you die, you go directly to Colonnade Pizza, located at 280 Metcalfe Street, in Ottawa
15. His idea of a great night is giving Heatley the Horse a bath, putting BTO on the stereo, and sitting down to a serious game of Operation
16. Secretly wishes he was The Paperboy
17. Was suspended in Grade Five for picking his nose
18. Can’t whistle while doing hand stands
19. Was suspected of sending a series of love letters to Elizabeth Manley
20. Tries every day to get Avril Lavigne to return his calls
(this list now known as 20 Things You Wish You Didn’t Know About Shawn Lavigne)
BONUS FACT: His favourite song of all time is Kokomo
